Despite my other retarded blogs, this is true

I haven't written a rambling for around three weeks, but rest assured I have a perfectly good explanation for it. Upon a visit to my GP I learned that I have severe brain cancer. The symptoms seemed to arise instantly. I lost my motor skills, portions of my brain started to fail and I developed shattering headaches that could not be taken away even by the most advanced pan killers. I can assure you, cancer, is no joke.

Ok, if I'm being completely honest I do not have cancer, and the entire prior paragraph is nothing but a tangled web of lies. Sorry. The reason I haven't posted any ramblings in such a long time is due to my very poor motivation. I simply could not be bothered, and I will not make excuses for it. Though for 3 days last week I was completely bed-ridden. I was horribly sick with the flu, the sickest I have ever been by memory.

I had a pounding headache, extreme sore-throat and the most nagging cough. On top of that, any time I left the comfort of my bed to attend to anything my head was very light, and I simply couldn't operate. On the first night of my condition I watched half of the movie Total Recall, and then turned it off with plans to nod off. I slept for around 20 minutes and for the next 12 hours I was completely insane.

I was convinced that I was stuck in the scenario of the movie, suffering the plot with the movies heroic protagonist. Though, there were some changes, as I don't recall rubber vines and plastic anti-sleep cells being plot devices in the movie. I was on a mission to restore the rubber vines to the normal state, as this was causing these sleep-Nazis to deprive us of our sleep. Usually, these sleep cells are invisible, but due to my condition I was given the ability to see the cells. We all know that if we have a power, we have a responsible to use it to help mankind.

So, I was charged with a quest. I needed to restore the physical properties back to the vines in order to provide the sleep-deprived the thing for which they yearned. Apparently, there was a problem amongst sleepers, with sleep resources. But with my clarity of vision I was able to realize that this was not the case, as sleeping is an act of natural regeneration, and no resources were necessary. The adventures I took lead me into the wee hours of the morning, and as it approached 3am, I came to realize that when the clock struck 3, we would all be given the capability to sleep, as a population of the world (the ones who start work quite early) would awaken, freeing up room for the rest of us to sleep.

But as 3am came and went, I could not sleep. As the act of being denied sleep turned man against man, and left in its wake was a devastating aftermath. A flaming war zone of fallen brothers. I could not simply turn my back on this situation. I resolved to clean this up, and I did. I did this until 9am, and then I figured I would get up. So I did. I got up for all of an hour and then I went back to bed and resigned to watching movies.

Throughout all of this, I would get around 5 minutes of sleep every half-hour, which would be the cause of what I was seeing, and my being sick (I guess) would've carried this through into my apparent sense of reality. I remember, at one point early during the night I had the clarity amongst my adventures to realize that it was foolishness. I thought to myself, huh? This is stupid, I just cannot sleep due to being in pain! This realization must've promptly dissipated as it was followed by total insanity. For the rest of it, I was doing these things, and the strange things I was doing were reality. The following two nights carried with it no delirium, but I was equally sick. To ensure it wouldn't happen the second night I tried to deprive my sleep a little so I would sleep solidly and that seemed to work, and by the third night, I was feeling a lot better.