Why do we have our minds as we have them? Can I borrow your lawn mower? What makes us so special? These questions must be addressed and addresses must be questioned. And my lawns need to be mowed, in that light, I need your lawnmower.
Words are similar, or else they wouldnt be grouped as the same. Are they recognized as words or simply a subset of a category that categorizes catalysts. I recognize that in fact writing catalyst there was irrelevant and confusing, but I just really like alliteration. I am a master of language. I am writing a new bible, I am calling it THE BIBLE II.
Took me awhile to come up with that name, I squeezed many a yoghurt cup. Yogat. Some funny people say Yo-Gurt like that. Yogat. Those people are stupid. I can prove this, I have done studies. For instance there is one chart, it has a trend. I have bar graphs, flow charts. Some of you people (I say YOU people, because I am better than you and I like to elevate myself above you pathetic peasants) have noticed this sudden shift in rambling style.
It was a terrible choice to change into a new paragraph in the middle of making a point, but it was getting a little too big. Inches? No! No inches. I do not know inches. Man seriously though, I need your lawnmower!
Again I change paragraphs? Man, am I retarded or what? Not.
Another paragraph. OK, this is the last one I change before I make my point. Bratwurst, its a sausage innit? Its a funny sounding word. I would love to be able to say I was having Bratwurst for tea, but its probably more of a delicacy. My rambling style has changed dramatically. This is due to complaints. Nope, I have not had any complaints.
No feedback whatsoever. Dicks. Jerks. Penis heads. Do you want to be friends? I have a taco stand. Ok, that was a lie. I have no peanut stand. I wish Jeremy didnt eat all my peanuts, I could really use one, thats why I wrote peanut when I meant to wrote taco. But I wish I did have a taco stand, and then I could say I have tacos and burritos. I could call it my T&B stand. People would ask what the hell T&B was. I could explain to them it means tacos and burritos. They would then tell me they understand and either buy a T&B or not. Depending on whether or not they were hungry. Or Mexican.
A handful of peanuts, one would not do. Its irrelevant though. Because stupid Jeremy ate them all. A whole bowl. My mum had some too, and I had like 20. They were my peanuts, and I hardly got to eat any of them. I tried to do some weeding today. But it got too cold so I gave up. Small pork sausage. I looked it up. I hope its a better day tomorrow. Does not matter if its not, it has to be done. A lot of work.
Im going to make a coffee. I made it but I have to wait for the hot water to boil so I can pour it in the cup. I have one sugar; I find that to be adequate. Too late for a coffee probably, but no.
The jug has boiled, I shall pour it. Done. Next? Next I drink it I suppose, but its too hot. Lava. Lava is hot, but its other types of hotness, so remember to stick to relevance. Why? Because its relative. Einstein knew that. Didnt he? Eh? Probably. The stereo just told me that I am so beautiful. How uncomfortably awkward. Im not harboring any romantic inclinations towards it so I have to let it down gently. I told the stereo Im not like that, and he said that Im everything he needs. I have got to stop listening to Louis Armstrong. Need to listen to something strong. Now the stereos told me its dynamite. That could create a situation. Better nip this one in the bud.
So I need to listen to something mellow, yet not too faggy. I will randomly select songs until I find something suitable. November Rain. Perfect. I wonder what that title means, perhaps its drizzling. Some form of rain in November. Might have ruined a wedding or a bridge game, but really, they should have bought a gazebo. So they cant go blaming the weather.
The cat is staring at me. I am 80% sure that she is 20 degrees through the cone of spiral madness. Thats not even a thing. Made it up. Dont really know why, but its getting- remember scooters? They were huge. Where did we land on the lawnmower? I have got some petrol so it need not have a full tank. Mmmm, not too hot now. Its delicious. I am a fabulous coffee maker. I cannot believe I said fabulous. The cat has now come over to the computer desk. I think I said fabulous for a reason I do not know. Truth portal of platform. Huh? Man, those scooters could go VOOOOOOOM. Not even a jet can do that. Jets fight in wars and kill communists. A dead communist equals one more point for America. There is an algebraic formula to prove it. If I had a blackboard I would prove it. You can only write algebra on a blackboard.
Oh dear, I have rambled. In my rambling no less. How ironic. Who wants to bake me a jam sardine? I just keep making things up. Scratch my back with a road sign please. They are the only things that hit the spot. It has to be hateful. How come the number one gets to come first? Thats hardly fair. But whats the last number? I will hereafter refer to it as (infinity minus 1). Debate over. I shall now sign off although my back is still itchy, my coffee only half-drunk and my lawns unmowed.
PS, I am serial about the lawnmower.
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